Full Circle Love: A Story of Engagement & Butterflies
Opal is my favorite stone. Far superior to the standard clear cut and glimmering diamond. Which is beautiful and no wonder it has become the symbol of decorating your love’s finger with your adoration and devotion. But opal is a stone with so much magic and depth to it. I wonder why it is always so overlooked. I inherited my love of opal from my grandmother, Naomi. She always had the most beautiful taste. Her hair was combed in the perfect white finger wave, which looked so effortless. She always wore her mid length A-line button down khaki skirt high on her waist fastened with a brown leather built and a beautiful clean and crisp T shirt tucked in. Her skin was pale and smooth, she told me once her secret. Moisturize twice a day, she said. And I do. She had long slender fingers, very delicate. Much like mine, my mother’s, and my sisters, and I notice now - even my daughter’s. Her style was simple but so very elegant. She often had an opal ring adorned onto her beautiful finger. You could look deep inside that gem and each time see a new depth of sparkle and glimmer. It looked almost like what I imagine outer space to look like. So many colors and bits and parts of shine. When my grandmother died many years ago, I was given her opal ring which I wear quite often when I feel like looking powerful and elegant.
Yao and our children know about my love of opal. Anytime we see an opal ring at an antique shop it’s always pointed out to me by the people who love me and know me best. They know I’ll be happy to see it. It’s sweet that the sight of opal reminds them of me, just as it has always reminded me of my grandmother. When Yao decided he was going to ask me to marry him he chose an opal ring to slip onto my long delicate finger.
It happened just a few days ago. We went camping in Big Basin, CA. It was a wonderful escape out of our Covid 19 bubble we are stuck in at home. Big Basin is tucked into 1000’s of acres of Redwood forest. Full of streams, creeks, waterfalls and wildlife. We enjoy camping regularly, but this trip felt like such an extra treat. Yao and I sat back and marveled at how lovely it was to see the kids acting like carefree kids again. Playing outdoors, getting dirty, laughing and exploring without the fears they have grown to adopt by being afraid to touch anything in our neighborhood. It truly felt freeing, a few days without the threat of virus looming over us.
On our second day there we went for a big hike to a waterfall with a swimming hole attached. The hike to get there was enjoyable but our destination ended up being taped off to visitors. The pathway down to the waterfall was a narrow one, so I’m sure the park closed it because it couldn’t not sustain social distancing while hiking down to it’s beautiful waterfall at the bottom. We instead looked in the opposite direction and came upon a massive mountain made of one gigantic slab of rock. I love a good rocky climb, so we went for it. It ended up much higher and steeper than it seemed at first glance. I took a few quick breathing breaks to get to the top. After all, I am 5 months pregnant and carrying a big round belly with me up each step. When we reached the very top we found a small patch of shade under a manzanita tree to rest and have some water. I sat down, wiped the sweat from my forehead and tried to catch my breath a bit. The kids all sat next to me, Carter laid down and rested his head in my lap. He started talking to me about wolves and how he would survive in this forest if he was in Hunger Games. Yao stayed standing but held my hand even though I was sitting on the floor. It was an awkward position to hold, and I made a mental note of that, but I also love how he loves me and often needs to be touching me in some capacity. He kept smiling too. Which I noticed, but I was happy too. It was a big climb and it felt great to be in such a wide open space with no one around.
He suddenly said, “babe.” and turned to me, still holding my hand. I looked up at him as he crouched down to one knee. I started smiling and giggling because clearly I knew what was happening at this point. He started laughing too. We sat there for a while, both with big goofy grins on our face giggling even though nothing was being said. Carter continued to tell me how we would climb trees and eat berries in the forest to survive, he’d possibly join a wolf pack. The girls saw our giggle fit, and having no idea what was going on, deemed us as “weird” and told us so. Finally I asked Carter to sit up because something was happening. The kids then started to pay attention to us as Yao went into his speech, smiling through the whole thing. He spoke of how much he loved me, and he always knew he wanted to marry me. He slipped the opal ring on my finger and I laughed and smiled and cried and said yes, of course.
The kids were so happy to be there to witness that moment, especially the girls who were immediately asking which one of them would be the Maid of Honor. Spoiler alert, they both are. We climbed back down the mountain together as a family, just as we had come up it. But this time with a little something more between us. We were already a family, but that opal ring, the laughter and the tears made it feel all the stronger.
When I was first getting to know Yao several years ago, he had just lost his wife and Kaymia and Kota had just lost their mother. I was the president of the co-op preschool Yao was applying to for a spot for Kota. Before he started the school year with us, I called him to ask him some questions about how we could help him and Kota during this very difficult time they were going through. I asked if there’s anything we should know as the faculty about Kota and his grieving. Yao couldn’t really pinpoint anything specific to tell me, except that when Aya died she told the kids she would become a butterfly. So Kota now thinks every time he sees a butterfly, it is in fact his mommy checking on him. That is a belief our entire family has adopted. If you’ve ever hung out with us in person and seen the quiet looks and smiles we give each other when a monarch dips down low next to us, you would know how that small gesture means a whole lot to us.
Later in the day after we hiked back to camp and had lunch, we decided to go for another hike. I had spotted a trailhead before and wanted to see if we could find a creek. So we went exploring and came upon a beautiful stream and swimming hole off the hiking path. It was a treacherous sort of climb to get down to it. But we are an adventurous bunch. So we gripped onto whatever root systems or branches we could reach and shimmied our way down a hillside to get to the creek below. In the creek we found fish, swimming salamanders, banana slugs and what appeared to be an injured butterfly. She was just sitting on a rock slowly flapping her wings. Sadie and Kaymia came to her and she climbed onto their hands. This continued for sometime. She climbed back and forth to each of our palms. While she was in my hands I noticed she had a large chunk missing from one of her wings, which explained why she was allowing us to hold and admire her so. She even climbed up to Sadie’s face and walked all around it, checking every sweet inch of her face out. When suddenly, she flew off. We all sat there stunned. That entire time that we spent with her, handing her from one set of hands to the other and she lovingly obliged, she could fly, the whole time! But she didn’t. She stayed with us. She sat with us and enjoyed our company. She happily walked up to me, Carter and Sadie. She excitedly skipped across Kota and Kaymia’s hands. She, for those moments was with us. She knew what had happened that day. That our family, her family was shifting and becoming a new blended family and she gave us her love. She let us know she was still with us and she was happy we had each other. It might have been one of the most meaningful moments in my life, to get her blessing.
