Plenty of time: pregnancy in the time of Coronavirus
I wanted the opportunity to do this again. I had figured I would never again have the chance. But here we are. I am announcing a new pregnancy. I’ve always wanted more children. I remember right after giving birth to Carter, I had this overwhelming sadness thinking that I would never again get to experience the insane level of joy of holding your child for the first time. That was almost 7 years ago. This pregnancy has so much meaning behind it. It’s like a personal journey of climbing a huge mountain and finally getting to the top. But it’s also really so very much of a new beginning. It’s clearly a new fresh page for this little person growing steadily inside of me. But it’s a new page for all of us in our family. We have so much to experience and learn still, and at this stage in my life it feels so surreal to be here. Our children are currently 13, 9, 6, and 6. It sure did feel like the learning curve was over and we were just in our groove. But now with a new baby coming, and us as first time parents together, it makes me feel like I have so much yet to learn and figure out. I’m excited about the chance to start parenting over again, from day one. I’m sure I will do things differently than I have before. It’s different now. I am a mom of much older children, which really has changed my perspective on parenting vs the young mom of young children mentality I had when I last went through this process. That, and I have a new partner to do it with. And Yao is absolutely amazing. I’m so incredibly thankful to be doing this with him. He is already a fantastic father and such a loving partner. It’s probably the first time I’ve ever not been afraid to bring a new child home. And I have way more going on now. My other experiences having children I had zero or one child at home, and I didn’t work. Now I own my own business and have 4 children already to juggle. But I am not afraid.
We found out we were pregnant a few days before our schools were shut down from COVID19 and we were put in a shelter in place. It’s been two months since then and we are still at home teaching our kids, and enjoying our home life while we grow this little baby. It’s been weird to go through the entire first trimester without seeing anyone. We only had the chance to tell a few people before we were all quarantined up in our homes. It many ways it has been a blessing. I have been so very sick since the 6 week mark. Just absolutely zero energy and totally nauseous all day long. It is never ending. It’s also totally weird to be hungry and absolutely repulsed by food at the same time. It’s been a hard balancing act to juggle. Now that I’m in my second trimester I do feel loads better. But I still battle with the nausea, which I’m 100% over and would love for it to go away now and never come back please thank you.
Doctor appointments are also SUPER weird. First off, Yao is not allowed in with me. This poor sweet man takes me to the appointments and sits outside until I come back. I film all of the ultrasounds, but he’s never been able to come in himself and hear the heartbeat in person. I wish we were experiencing those moments together. But maybe possibly at some point in our pregnancy he will be allowed in. When I get to the doctor’s there is someone waiting outside who literally yells out, “What is your business here?” It feels like one of those Old English Pubs where someone opens a peephole to ask you to state your business and then either releases the draw bridge down for you, or not. Also, I have to add - during my first few appointments I was totally embarrassed about calling back out, “Prenatal appointment!” But that’s what it’s like now. Once they approve of my business there, they’ll allow me in. They then take my temperature and sanitize my hands and then tell me to sit at the ONE chair they have in the entire waiting room. Which they spray and sanitize between each patient. When I go in, I’m obviously wearing a mask and so is my doctor. It feels so strange and removed to have health discussions this way. I don’t know, it’s just so different and tense. Everyone is on high alert. It’s not exactly a sweet soothing memorable moment of pregnancy.
But other than that, I am enjoying the pregnancy even amidst Coronavirus. I like the slower schedule. I like the uninterrupted time with my children. I like working from home. I like having Yao home. I like being able to nap during the days. And I’m even enjoying a break from social obligations. I’m just so tired lately. It’s nice to be able to rest and go to bed early guilt free.
The baby is coming in November. Our given due date is Nov 16th, but I’ve never gone full term. Sadie came 5 weeks early and Carter came 1 week early. I’m imaging this baby to be here by early November. So far I have zero things. But there is time. Plenty of time.
